


hollow & depleted

by rickbisexualgrimes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Feelings Realization, M/M, Protective Michonne (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:59:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickbisexualgrimes/pseuds/rickbisexualgrimes
Summary: Falling into bed together was already straddling a line and so therefore falling for each other couldn't happen.  Or could it?





	1. matching darkness

**Author's Note:**

> ANOTHER WIP COMPLETED. 
> 
> this was originally supposed to be a one shot but i decided mini chapters was cool. so give it a read & leave those kudos + comments for me.

The very first time they fucked it was one of the most glorious moments Negan had ever experienced. All that holier-than-thou talk was fucking bullshit as far as Negan was concerned. Deep within Rick was something that matched Negan’s own darkness and that’s why Rick couldn’t resist anymore. They were a lot like in ways that nobody else could understand. It was comforting in a way that Negan was certain he’d never admit aloud.

Every thrust was like heaven. Negan could feel the pleasure building and building inside him. He was ready to burst and have his cum leaking out of Rick while he walked away in shame. Negan wished he could fuck the shame out of him. Maybe then Rick wouldn't be so fucking wound tight. 

When Negan brushed up against Rick's prostrate , it was hard to keep hold of Rick against the wall. The younger man was shaking and almost passing out from how good it felt. Negan partially chuckled into Rick's sweaty shoulder because it was fucking _hilarious_. How undone Rick was for him every single time. Absolutely priceless. He told the man that he was his bitch. Something that he owned. And here Rick was proving just how true that fuckin was. 

All it took were a couple more thrusts and Negan was cumming inside Rick. Which Rick followed closely behind. There was spunk on Negan and they were just a fucking mess as far as he was concerned. This time he'd made sure to bring some wash cloths and a water bottle to wash themselves off. Nothing was worse than going home with dried cum on you. 

Negan felt Rick's legs drop down his body, he held on until Rick was planted firmly on the floor, it was just him being thoughtful. If he didn't care he would have dropped Rick flat on his fucking ass. 

They exchanged looks with each other before getting their clothes back on in silence. Rick kept shaking his head and mumbling to himself like he was losing his fucking marbles. It was amusing at first until it became annoying and Negan _needed_ to fucking know what was wrong. 

He waited until Rick got his ratty ass jeans back on to pop the question so to speak. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you now? Y'know it's a real turn off when you act like I pushed you into doin' this. Actually no, it's just fucking stupid and gets me in a goddamn mood. I sure as fuck don't wanna take this home with me." Negan quirked his eyebrow at Rick who was ignoring him. "Hello? Earth to Rick. Telling me is in your best interest right now."

Rick exhaled in the most dramatic way he could manage. "I was thinkin' of how I can't keep pretending that all we're doin' in here is having conversation. Michonne is askin' questions and even though we're not together anymore - she still knows me. She can see it in my eyes."

"Everyone should be lucky we didn't go to war with each other. Honestly, they should be happy all we're doin' in here is fucking like rabbits and not ripping each other to shreds."  
  


"This shouldn't even be happening in the first place!"

"Oh get the fuck over yourself, Rick. You love it when I'm inside you, making you moan like a fucking virgin. It's probably some of the best and raunchiest sex you've had in a long ass time. Actually, I'm betting that with Michonne it was all love and fucking tenderness. She probably topped you and that alone sent you over the edge."

"Shut up." Rick gave him a warning look.

Negan shook his head and licked his bottom lip. "But with me it's all aggressive and _dark_ 'cause I make all that shit inside you bubble up. It's all on the surface when I shove my dick down your throat and you're thanking me for it. Or when I'm pounding that tight ass from the back. You live for how dirty it makes you feel."

Several times before, Rick would punch him dead in the fucking mouth for talking to him like that. It was something that Rick had grown way too used to. Almost like he forgot who was actually in charge of him. 

Only this time he wasn't met with a first but with Rick's mouth on his. Their teeth were clashing together because of how aggressive it was. Hands were all over the place, igniting that flame that they'd already dealt with. Despite how much he wanted to fuck Rick again - they had to get going. Negan pulled away first and gathered himself together before retrieving Lucille from the corner of the room. 

"Gonna see me out today or are you gonna be a little bitch and cower in the corner?"


	2. she knows

For months Michonne could tell something about Rick was _different_. His behavior had become shifty and secretive to the point that Michonne couldn't shake. There was something he was hiding from everyone. Including her. She suspected something when she saw Negan's hand linger on Rick's back for too long. A nervousness stirred inside her the first time she saw that. How Negan's hand went lower and lower until Rick moved away from him. 

There was no way that Negan was manipulating Rick into having sex with him. Rick would tell her if that was what was happening. No way he'd keep such a secret of that magnitude from her. They weren't a couple anymore but still lived in the same house for Judith's sake. At least until Michonne felt the time was right and then they'd split time with her. It felt like a divorce and it a lot of ways - it really was. They never really stated that they were married but it felt like it. Until the day came where Michonne didn't feel it was working anymore. 

Rick had grown overly distant for some reason. A reason that she gathered was because of Negan because it happened not long after their meeting. It was a meeting that no one else had attended. And when Rick walked out of the house - he looked startled. 

Walking away from someone she genuinely loved wasn't an easy feat. In fact, it was probably one of the hardest things she'd experienced. Her best friend and former lover was now just someone she didn't exchange conversation with much. They spoke when it came to Judith or something to do with Alexandria or another community. Michonne never pressed for more either. 

The front door opened in the distance and slammed shut behind whoever it was. Michonne blinked a few times before recognizing the footsteps coming towards the kitchen. She pretended to be pouring herself a glass of water. When she saw Rick from the corner of her eye - she could see his distress. Negan had just been in the community with some of his people and they were doing a light collection. As well as dropping off some items that were agreed upon. 

When Rick didn't even say hello to her, irritation grabbed hold of any composure she had. She tried to keep herself together but ended up turning to look at Rick. For some reason his eyes wouldn't even meet hers. Not even from across the way. 

Michonne leaned back against the counter. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong yet?"

"There's nothin' to tell. I'm alright." Rick shrugged nonchalantly. "You worried 'bout me?"

"What type of question even is that? I'm always gonna worry about you and wonder if you're okay. That will never change. I just need you to talk to me and tell me what's been going on with you."

"It's best we drop this conversation." 

“No. I don’t think it’s best we do that. Not for you or for me. Talk to me, please, Rick.”

It was visible on Rick’s face that he was fighting back tears and was on the verge of breaking down. Michonne didn’t want to see him unravel. It was literally the last thing she wanted for him. Yet with Rick it usually took him unraveling for him to reveal what was happening.

All that came out of Rick’s mouth before he start crying was Negan. 


	3. it can't be love

Keeping his relationship, if Rick could even call it that, a secret from Michonne had been an exhausting event. 

She would always know when he was lying or keeping secrets from her. It’s something that was likely never going to change between them. Just like they’d always love each other. 

Rick didn’t shove the emotions away and instead let his tears fall in front of his ex lover. Her face was full of understanding, warmth and a desire to help him. Which he never failed to appreciate about her as a person. Michonne was the kind of individual you’d want in your life. And he was lucky to even have this with her still.

Due to his legs feeling weak it was best he sit down at the kitchen table with her. Michonne helped him sit down in the seat that Carl normally would sit at. She then sat at the other side of him and laid her hands out. It was an invitation for him to hold them. Rick didn’t reject them, instead he reached out and took Michonne’s soft hands into his.

That’s all it took for Rick to start spilling his guts out. Michonne didn’t interrupt him, kept her face neutral and simply waited for him to finish. Not one bit of detail, other than explicit details about the sex, was left out about how it all came to be. If he were talking about it with anything else - they’d be disgusted with him. Maggie would undoubtedly walk out of the room. Rosita would tell him that he was an idiot to fall into bed with their enemy. Carl would probably be angry and confused with him. And everyone else would likely pity his inability to stop. 

“I don’t have to tell you that he’s dangerous and could be manipulating you. I know you’re smart. What I also know is that it’s very easy to fall for someone that - “ Michonne went to continue but Rick stopped her from doing so.

Rick chuckled under his breath. “You think I have feelings for him? Him?! It can’t be love or anythin’ like that. How could that even happen anyways?

“We both know things happen unexpectedly. Without us even noticing.” Michonne partially smiled. “Aside from that I want you to know I’m not mad at you. In fact you’re brave for telling me this ‘cause I know it’s eating at you. I know it’s been eating at you.”

“What should I do about it then?”


	4. ...that other thing

Driving to Alexandria for the pick ups was almost always a fucking boring trip. Negan didn’t always go, of course not, he had better shit to do. Unless he felt like seeing Rick and fucking the hell out of him then he endured the trip. 

Negan fiddled with the cap of the bottle he’d brought along with him. Since Negan wasn’t the one driving he kept taking swigs here and there. Arat shook her head from the driver’s seat which made Negan glare with only partial seriousness.

What the hell’s her problem?

“Got a reason for staring at me? I know you’re only into the ladies so it can’t be ‘cause of my pretty face.” Negan smirked when he noticed Arat was visibly irritated by him. “C’mon, spit it out.”

Arat stared ahead at the road and didn’t bother to glance over. “You’ve been behaving differently lately. Not as focused and quite frankly you’ve been a mess, sir. “

_“Hoooooooly shit!_ Y’know I’ve been waiting for you to call me out on my bullshit. I truly have been. Of course I appreciate that you take orders and don’t fucking hesitate. Though I gotta say you’ve got a directness that I highly appreciate too.”

“Thank you, sir.”

There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that it was Rick who was affecting him. That motherfucker always had to get emotional and sometimes it bothered Negan. He wasn’t going to lie. Why couldn’t he just do something without second guessing and worrying about anyone else? Negan supposed that wasn’t in Rick’s nature.

Lately when Negan thought of Rick there wasn’t a lot of angry thoughts. Only frustration in his reluctance to sink deeper into whatever they had. And then there was that __other thing. __A feeling that crept up inside Negan when he laid down at night, alone. The feeling that he may actually feel something towards Rick. Something that would potentially ruin him.

No fucking way that it was love or anything along those lines.

_Yeah, think whatever you fucking like, dumb ass. We both know that Rick’s got you feeling shit again._

Negan scrunched his eyebrows at his inner voice or whatever the fuck. “Tell me when we get there, Arat. I’m gonna close my eyes for a little bit.”

“Actually, sir, we’re literally five minutes away.”

“Oh shit, how the fuck did I not notice that? Maybe it’s the fucking drinks.”

_Could be or it could be that you’re a fucking idiot._ Negan’s internal voice was getting on his own fucking nerves.


	5. let it out

The first person that Negan saw at the gate was Michonne and she didn’t look happy. Not that she ever did when he was around but this was different. She fucking knows. Negan had a smirk on his face to hide the actually fucking fear inside. Nobody else seemed to unnerve him, aside from Michonne. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell him a few fucking things that he wouldn’t like. And she was protective of who she loved.

Only some of his people came along for the pick up because it would light. They were now under strict rule not to harass anybody. If they did then there would be consequences. Negan watched Michonne open the gate for them and he told his people to fan out. The items that were scavenged were now to be picked up outside of the church. Unless someone was running late, which was almost never now. 

Arat lingered behind them and wasn’t leaving because of safety reasons. Not that Negan thought Michonne was bat shit but she could easily cut his head off with her katana.

“Obviously you’ve got a few things to say to me. So say them.” Negan spoke in a hushed voice.

Michonne kept walking at the same pace as him. “I know. I know what you and Rick have been doing. Had my suspicions before but now it’s abundantly clear. As much as I can’t stand you - I know that Rick wouldn’t be involved with you for no reason. He doesn’t do that. “

“What do you think the reason is? We’re just having sex. Not like I’m taking him out to dinner or some shit.”

“You think I don’t see through your act? I know you think that you’ve got other people fooled but I know bullshit when I see it. You’ve always had a fascination with him. Even from the start it was obvious. How focused you were on ruining him. We could chalk that up to you being an asshole and a maniac. Or we can see it as an obsession that grew into something else.

She’s right you know. She’s got you pegged and not in the way you -

Negan tried to keep his face neutral like he wasn’t affected. “We both know that it can’t be more than sex. That the idea of a relationship is fucking insane. Feelings or not.”

“You should tell Rick how you feel. If he decides to end it then good for him. But if not then I’ll be watching you and if you hurt him - I’ll kill you myself.” Michonne muttered before stalking off into the distance. 

* * *

When Negan found Rick he was sitting inside the church and if that wasn’t the most hilarious sight. No one else was around, which gave Negan exactly what he wanted with Rick - privacy. They probably wouldn’t fuck in the church. Though it was tempting to bend Rick over his knees and make him pray for more.

Right away the younger man noticed him come in because he wasn’t exactly a quiet person. He made his way over to Rick then plopped down beside him.

“What the hell do you want, Negan? We’re in a church and I don’t think it’s a good time to try to get into my pants.” Rick had no humor in his voice and instead just glared at him. “I know that’s the only reason you’re here.”

“Actually it’s not, prick. Ever think I may just wanna talk?” Negan bit down on his lip provocatively. “I’m here to talk about our relationship and feelings. “

“What feelings?”

“You see, that’s what I fucking thought all this time. What the fuck could I possibly feel towards my enemy other than lust? Turns out I can feel a whole hell of a lot. So much so that it’s kept me awake at night sometimes.”

“What are you proposing? That I become one of your wives and wear a little black dress?” Rick huffed at the thought of it.

Negan waggled his eyebrows at the man who was barely looking at him. “Goddamn that visual is somethin’ else. But no that’s not it. I think we should talk about our feelings. Get it out now. You go first.”

“So much of me hates you for what you’ve done. What you did to Abraham and Glenn. They were important to so many of us and you just…took them away. Then there’s a part of me that craves you til it hurts. That thinks of you fuckin’ me like it’s normal to want you. I have feelings, I don’t know If I can they’re love but it’s still more than lust.”

“I have feelings for you too. Still wanna drive you into the wall but it’s definitely more than me wanting to fuck you.”

Neither of them wanted to speak because it would ruin the moment. Though Negan being the one who ruins shit - he had to speak. “What the hell does this mean for us moving forward then? Do you still wanna do this?”

“Yeah, I do. Maybe differently.”

“That’s enough for me, at least for now.” Negan placed his hand on Rick’s and for once the younger man didn’t move it.


End file.
